Everything looks different from far away

My brother is having a baby.

Well, technically, it's his girlfriend doing the having. She and my brother are both over 40 and have always wanted kids and it's been a very dangerous pregnancy and they're inducing her even though she can't take antibiotics. It's a rough thing. So! Inspired by what the community has done in the past, I was hoping you guys could help celebrate the birth of little Ruby Grace.

Ruby's going to pop out tonight or tomorrow. If you take a picture of some part of your world today (October 19th) or tomorrow (October 20th), and send me the print-resolution image along with the location where the picture was taken, I will send you whichever PDF from the 2SP library you prefer. (Murderland, Mist-Robed Gate, or It's Complicated) If you live outside of the North American continent, I'll send you two PDFs.

Information:
- Send your pictures to eshoemaker AT gmail.
- G-rated pictures only, please.
- No cell phone or webcam pics, those are too small to print.
- The pictures can be of anything, but bonus points for anything inspired by her name (Ruby Grace) or reflecting the day (Obviously seasonal images, or even a soup of the day sign, whatever)
- Sending me the pictures to me gives me the right to print one copy of a picture book at Blurb and present it to my brother and his girlfriend.


My brother's having a baby! Super exciting! Yay!

This stuff on Story Games about postmodernism in gaming and what Matt said about how it's difficult to relate to non-gamers because RPGs make you look at media in a different way got me thinking.

Two things: I've never played a game with the hopes of telling an awesome story, and I think Trigun is a triumph of storytelling.

These two seem initially unrelated, so I'll go with the second first and then tie it all together. I know a lot of anime enthusiasts (which I do not consider myself to be; I have only enjoyed two anime series, and have been forced to watch dozens more) sort of roll their eyes at Trigun, because too many fourteen-year-old catgirls think Vash is dreamy or something. I don't know about any of that. Here's what I do know: the narrative arc of Trigun, minus one episode, is the tightest fucking thing I have ever seen. Everything is so tightly integrated and escalates on such a perfect, steady climb. There's the traditional triple-arc structure to a serial (Each episode furthers and concludes the episode's story arc, furthers a multi-episode story arc, and furthers the overall story arc), but there's more to it than that. Every character's personal/psychological story arc steadily plugs along in every episode, with few spotlights (not counting Vash's spotlights, since he's the main character). We're given views of every character from every other character's point of view. Every mini-boss is an exaggerated facet of the personality of the big boss. The right character to die dies, and the ending is satisfying but not conclusive. That is some high-end, thoughtful, intelligent storycrafting, and when I watch it, the author in me gets blown the fuck away.

I rarely consume media with the gamer in me at the forefront. My interests as a designer are firmly in the realm of genre simulation, so I'll watch a movie or a TV show as my normal self, then later get all excited and want more of what I just saw, so I'll try to write something that feels the same. Not the same narrative structure, not the stuff I talked about above. I don't want to tell a story, as that's always striked me as a less visceral thing than the non-LARP RPG equivalent of "playing star wars" like Tovey does, where he's a dude with a lightsaber and you're a dude with a lightsaber and you run around making cool noises and thinking "Holy crap! I'm in Star Wars! This is awesome!"

That's what gets me hot about Mist-Robed Gate, It's Complicated, Annalise. "Holy crap! I'm in a kung fu movie! A WB teen drama! A monster movie!" It's also how I approached our game of Apocalypse World back in the day. "I'm in Mad Max or Waterworld or something! Whee!" I don't think it's really immersion though, because I wasn't trying to BE THE PERSON and I never become one with my character or whatever. It's just that I use the feeling of the media I consume to inform how I interact in a game. If I don't like the color, or it's not a type of media I've consumed, it's hard to get me excited about playing a game.

So even though the thing that gets me all hot and bothered about Trigun is its narrative arc and the construction of its story, it has never occurred to me (until this post) to play a game trying to emulate that. Yesterday, if you came up to me and said "Hey, let's play this game, it's like Trigun," I would have thought "Okay, post-apocalypse.. Are we all plant-aliens or are we just lonely people in an abandoned town or what? Can I have an arm cannon?" And probably would then go through the whole game going "Whee! I'm in Trigun!" without giving a second thought to the part of the inspiration that I loved the most.

This makes me kind of really want to try and play a game where I'm sitting down and consciously putting forth a narrativist agenda. I've never done that before, and I don't even know if I'd have fun or be able to pull it off. But I totes want to try.

Okay you guys, here is the thing: I know that I live with Shreyas and am engaged to Shreyas and have a kid with Shreyas, but there is something vitally important a lot of you seem to be missing lately:

I am not Shreyas.

If Shreyas is being a butt on Story Games, it is not me being a butt on Story Games, so don't get snippy with me about it. If Shreyas posts some crazy contentious email to a group we're both a part of and I have something reasonable to say or my own, non-inflammatory concerns, it's not "Oh, Shreyas and Elizabeth are having the grumps." I am my own person, with my own genetic code and fingers that type and have unique fingerprints and my own brain with my own thoughts.

It is actually kind of refreshing to have to post this, since in relationships the problem has historically been that whatever guy I'm with hates being "Mr. Elizabeth," but it's not refreshing ENOUGH to make it okay.

Here is a handy guide. Let's say you read something on the internet. It makes you mad! You want to yell at someone. Look for these keys to determine whether the person is me or Shreyas.

"Veterans [or any other special needs group] have had it good for too long"
"[Relatively mundane thing that might be sort of irritating] is POISON and must be destroyed"
An uncharacteristically cute icon, such as Hamtaro or Hoho or a hot Indian chick
Venom at the indie games community in general

If you see this stuff, the person you should be yelling at is Shreyas. If you see any of the following:

- Extensive blow-by-blow quote-backs and indignation
- Lengthy posts
- Lots of paragraph breaks
- Statements like "Ben Lehman is pretty great"
- Boobs

Then that means the person you should be yelling at is me. Feel free to print this out and stick it by your computer for reference.

Thanks in advance!

Love,
Elizabeth

Man, you guys are incredible. Thank you so much for all of your help! We're currently in Columbus, OH, about to leave for Massachusetts. There is absolutely no way we could have done this without you, and it's overwhelming.

I've never seen my ex in as bad shape as he was when we showed up to get Gwendolyn, not even when he was first diagnosed. I don't know how he was able to muster the strength to care for her until we got there-- he couldn't even stand fully erect. He'd managed to pack her a bag of things, and we were all in a hurry, so I didn't check it. I should have: she has numerous pairs of pants, and three tops, one of which is a Christmas sweater. Lots of books and toys, but no birth certificate or social security card or immunization records. So anything we have left over from your generosity will go to trying to get her what she needs to be happy and successful in MA.

I asked him how long he's planning to have us take care of her-- should I get her into school? Is it just until he gets well?-- and he had no idea, it depends on what the doctors say when he gets into the hospital. I'm supposed to have a baby in a week and a half or so, and we're all just sort of flying by the seat of our pants. (I was going to talk to him about me having a kid, too, but he was just so out of it-- I don't think he even noticed I was pregnant, and it's pretty hard to miss.)

(Aside, she is super excited about having a little sister and thinks we should either name the kid "Fido" or "Rufus Poofus.")

The main thing that worries me is how shockingly thin she is. I mean, she's always been naturally skinny, but I'm afraid that living with someone who has a disease which both makes it difficult to cook and outlaws things like fiber and veggies has taken its toll on her. She was wearing a thick velvet shirt yesterday and I could still see her spine; she's wearing a pair of 18-month-sized shorts today, and she's five and a half. I don't think she's malnourished? But she's definitely underweight. I need to stuff her with vegetables until she pops, I think.

Shreyas has been beyond amazing with all of this. He and Gwendolyn became fast friends, despite the fact that she's all nervous and scared and confused and extra-sensitive and cranky right now. I'm just astonished by how quickly and easily he's gotten into a sort of problem-solving mode where he's completely blowing me away with ideas on how to incorporate Gwendolyn into our daily lives, and how to make her feel happy and safe and at home in our tiny apartment. He's owning this whole stepdad thing in a way I never imagined but which has been infinitely needed and useful and wonderful.

We're coming back tonight, and tomorrow we've got a ton to do-- clean the apartment, get my mom from the airport, Gwendolyn gets to meet Tovey!!, start all of the administrative stuff that needs to get done. I'm still scared shitless, but I have much more confidence in our ability to actually handle this now.

Thanks to you guys. <3

So I feel kind of weird doing this, but it has been suggested numerous times in the last five minutes or so, so:

Backstory. I'm a mom! I'm about to be a mom again! My currently-external daughter is with her father in Montgomery, AL. I am here with my lovely fiance and my currently-internal daughter in Greenfield, MA. I miss Gwendolyn, but my ex is a good dad and takes excellent care of her.

My ex has Crohn's disease. It's a bad thing, and normally it's in remission, but he's in the middle of a really serious flare-up; he can't move his right leg, he's constantly nauseous, he can't stand up or lay down without excruciating amounts of pain. I've seen him like this before, and he's not capable of anything, let alone taking care of an energetic five-year-old.

He can't go to the hospital until someone is taking care of Gwendolyn, and he's going to be in the hospital for a long time once he goes in.

Right now, Shreyas and I are in the world's tiniest apartment and pretty much 100% broke. So I'm taking donations for gas money and travel expenses and stuff. This is the plan:

Shreyas and I are going to start driving to Alabama as soon as possible and pick Gwendolyn up. From there we'll drive back to Columbus, OH. My mom's going to take care of Gwendolyn until the 31st while we get the apartment ready for her, and then she'll fly up here with Gwendabutt as she was initially planning to do anyway, in order to be present for the birth of daughter #2. Problem is, she doesn't have the extra $200 for Gwendolyn's plane ticket, and we don't have the cash to get there and back. This is where you come in:


If you want something more for your money other than my eternal gratitude, now is also a great time to buy Mist-Robed Gate.

I feel weird about all of this, but thank you. You people are wonderful and despite the circumstances, words can't express how excited I am to see Gwendolyn again.



EDIT: We've got enough to get the gas, so we're going to leave now! Thank you sooooo much. It's a two-day trip to Alabama, four days total, so keep us in your thoughts and we'll update from the road when possible.